COINCIDENCE

Looking in the diary, I noticed that a year ago (or to be precise 52 weeks ago on Sunday) we attended the wedding of the daughter of close friends.

The wedding ceremony (Chupa) took place in an Orthodox Synagogue in North West London. The Chupa was a wonderful occasion and the Rabbi in his speech to the newlyweds managed to bring in the disappointment the whole country felt at England being knocked out of the World Cup by Germany.

After the Chupa we then had to drive to the outskirts of North London to a restaurant where the reception and dinner and dance were being held.

It was a very hot day and the reception was held in the open air.

Following the reception we all (about 120) went to the function room which was above the restaurant. 

We were seated at round tables of 10, and all those on our table were friends we had known for over 30 years. Unfortunately one couple couldn’t make it because of illness so the table was only set for 8.

We were having our starter, when the head waiter came over and asked my wife Diane if she minded if they put someone next her as we had room on our table. Obviously Diane said to was ok.

We were then joined by, to me, a young woman in her early 40’s named Lisa. She explained to Diane that she lived in Brighton, and that a friend of hers, who was a friend of the bridegroom, had been invited with her son. The son couldn’t make it, and she had asked Lisa to go with her so that she wouldn’t have to travel on her own. It so happened that the son was supposed to sit on the children’s table and that’s why Lisa ended up next to Diane.

My wife, always on the look out to matchmake, although our 3 sons are all married, asked Lisa about herself. She said that she was a widow with 2 teenage daughters and found it very hard to meet Jewish men in Brighton. She stayed in Brighton only because her parents lived there.

Hearing part of the conversation, a sudden thought passed my mind. I leaned across and asked Lisa what her surname was. The answer she gave meant nothing to me. I then asked what her maiden name was. The answer was Feinson, and I replied that her dad Paul was my first cousin and that Paul’s dad and my mum were brother and sister. Lisa immediately phoned her dad, who I hadn’t seen for a few years.

I  know it’s a long story, but the amazing think is that she could have been put on any table and anywhere on our table.

What's in a name

My father Simon Belson was born in 1912, I had his birth certificate and my parents wedding certificate as well as the marriage authorisation from the Chief Rabbi’s Office in London. From these I knew that my father’s parents were Harry Belson and Dora Godelsky.

Try as I could, I was unable to find my paternal grandfather Harry’s birth certificate or his marriage certificate. I knew that his father’s name was Joseph but could not trace a Belson family in any UK census with a Joseph and a Harry. Eventually I found the family in the 1891, 1901 and 1911 censuses as Balsom. I still couldn’t find the birth or wedding certificates for Harry who is shown as 1 year old in the1891 census.

I then tried Free BMD looking for a female Godelsky, using Soundex, getting married between 1910 and 1912. From this I found a Dorothy Gudelsky married a Henry Belsom in early 1912. I now have the certificate and they are definitely my grandparents Harry and Dora.

Again I tried Free BMD looking for a male Balsom, using Soundex, born 1890/1891. The only one was a Harry Balzum born in 1890. I have just received the certificate and it shows Harry, born 23^rd May 1890 to Joseph and Leah Balzum.

Checking on the births of Harry’s 8 brothers and sisters, I have found births registered as Belson, Bulsom, Balsom, Bolsam and Bellson.

So, what is my family name. Balsom, Balzum, Belsom, Bolsam or Bellson. Or does it matter. I can only presume that when the births were registered, the registrar wrote down what she/he thought the name sounded like when spoken by someone who only knew Russian or Yiddish and couldn’t read or write in English.